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| The Bletherings of Former Chieftains on absolutely anything and everything |
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B&W 13
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| Black and White – April 2011 |
Black and White – March/April 2011 Edition
Dear loyal and long suffering readers of this column I am sorry to tell you that this will be my last attempt at being a columnist. I have given the matter
much thought and soul – searching, but reached the conclusion that the Black and White page on our website needs an injection of new “blood” to
engender different ideas and content. I have given of my best, but the old grey matter is just not working the way it used to, therefore, as they would
say in fitba parlance, it’s time to “hang up my boots”.
I would like to take this opportunity, however, to thank three of my regular correspondents, my sister Vera, my pal of many years, Craig Bailey and
my former next door neighbor and good friend, when I lived in the Patra Jasa complex, Carole Binbrek for sending me a constant supply of funny and
interesting stories on my email. I make no apologies for blatantly plagiarizing many of their jokes and stories for my articles. What would I have done
without them?
I do, however, have a couple of sincere apologies. The first to Mark Aitken, who very kindly copied a book called “The Patter” for me and I had
assured him I would use some of the more quaint Glasgow expressions in one of my articles. It never happened and I am sorry for this, Mark. The
second is to Gordon Benton for not including his history of the Java St. Andrew Society from around 1965. Hope you will both forgive me.
Susan and Rex Whistler
On the 19th Feb. I came out of hibernation to attend the “get together” at the BWA house to say farewell to my two good friends, Susan and Rex,
who left Jakarta at the end of the month. For me this was particularly sad, because I have been closely associated with Susan on many of the
Highland Gathering Committees and then during her year as Chieftain of the Society. She has been such an asset to both and her obliging and
enthusiastic approach to whatever task she undertook while serving on the HG Committees a real example of commitment.
Susan’s husband Rex was the proverbial “quiet man”, always there at Susan’s side, supporting her, EXCEPT when he captained the English golf
team against Scotland for the Thomson Cup. On those occasions I was definitely not a fan of Mr. Whistler, especially when his team beat us Scots!
But being an Englishman, I can forgive Rex – no his fault he was born on the wrong side of the border.
Roger Bratby
There was a very much sadder and final farewell on the 12th March when my friend Roger Bratby passed away after a short but losing battle against
liver cancer. The sudden deterioration of Roger’s health shocked all his friends, including me as I had bumped into him a couple of months earlier
when Frank and I went to the Eastern Promise for dinner one Sat. evening and there he was, large as life, with his usual wide and welcoming smile
when he saw us. We had become close friends while working on several HG committees and for years he had the unenviable task of putting together
the large team of Stewards required to handle the myriad of jobs which came up during the day of the Games. An excellent job he did too! Like many
of his friends I will miss meeting him in his favourite watering hole.
May he rest in peace.
Bangers ‘n’ Mash
I am sure there are many of you, like me, who fancy a big fry up on a Sun. morning, just like you used to have back home. But without having to cook
it! Well now you can. Bangers ‘n’ Mash is a new restaurant opened on Kemang Raya by a fellow Scot Bob Nowak, who for the past year or so has
been providing his customers from his house with a range of pies, lorne sausages, beef/pork links, bacon, pork pies, you name it, Bob makes it! Now
he’s branched out and you can visit his cozy restaurant any day except Monday and watch his girls make you whatever you fancy for breakfast,
lunch or dinner. You must also try their fish and chips, absolutely delicious! I could go on and on about Bob’s menu, but I will just give you the web
link and you can see for yourself what you his new venture has to offer. Believe me, the quality of the meals are well worth a visit and very
reasonably priced. Here’s the link:
www.bangersnmashkemang.com
New Chieftain
Well the AGM of the Society was finally held on 1st April and our new Chieftain is Shona Benton. I am sure you would like to join me in congratulating
Shona on her election to this very important position and to wish her every success during her tenure of office.
Chuckle Corner
It would be remiss of me if I concluded this article without giving you the benefit of at least one of the stories I have plagiarized from my regular
contacts. Here’s one that ticked my fancy.
The things children think and say
1. HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like
sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the
chips and dip coming.
Alan, age 10
No person really decides before they grow up whom they're going to marry.
God decides it all way before and you get to find out later who you're
stuck with.
Kristen, age 10
2. WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
Camille, age 10
3. HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the
same kids.
Derrick, age 8
4. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
Lori, age 8
5. WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each
other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)
On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets
them interested enough to go for a second date.
Martin, age 10
6. WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich.
Pam, age 7 (love her)
The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
Curt, age 7
The rule goes like this:
If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them.
It's the right thing to do.
Howard, age 8
7. IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to
clean up after them.
Anita, age 9 (bless you child)
8. HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
Kelvin, age 8
And the #1 Favourite is.......
9. HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck.
Ricky, age 10
Goodbye readers an’ awraa best
Bernie
April 2011
Dear loyal and long suffering readers of this column I am sorry to tell you that this will be my last attempt at being a columnist. I have given the matter
much thought and soul – searching, but reached the conclusion that the Black and White page on our website needs an injection of new “blood” to
engender different ideas and content. I have given of my best, but the old grey matter is just not working the way it used to, therefore, as they would
say in fitba parlance, it’s time to “hang up my boots”.
I would like to take this opportunity, however, to thank three of my regular correspondents, my sister Vera, my pal of many years, Craig Bailey and
my former next door neighbor and good friend, when I lived in the Patra Jasa complex, Carole Binbrek for sending me a constant supply of funny and
interesting stories on my email. I make no apologies for blatantly plagiarizing many of their jokes and stories for my articles. What would I have done
without them?
I do, however, have a couple of sincere apologies. The first to Mark Aitken, who very kindly copied a book called “The Patter” for me and I had
assured him I would use some of the more quaint Glasgow expressions in one of my articles. It never happened and I am sorry for this, Mark. The
second is to Gordon Benton for not including his history of the Java St. Andrew Society from around 1965. Hope you will both forgive me.
Susan and Rex Whistler
On the 19th Feb. I came out of hibernation to attend the “get together” at the BWA house to say farewell to my two good friends, Susan and Rex,
who left Jakarta at the end of the month. For me this was particularly sad, because I have been closely associated with Susan on many of the
Highland Gathering Committees and then during her year as Chieftain of the Society. She has been such an asset to both and her obliging and
enthusiastic approach to whatever task she undertook while serving on the HG Committees a real example of commitment.
Susan’s husband Rex was the proverbial “quiet man”, always there at Susan’s side, supporting her, EXCEPT when he captained the English golf
team against Scotland for the Thomson Cup. On those occasions I was definitely not a fan of Mr. Whistler, especially when his team beat us Scots!
But being an Englishman, I can forgive Rex – no his fault he was born on the wrong side of the border.
Roger Bratby
There was a very much sadder and final farewell on the 12th March when my friend Roger Bratby passed away after a short but losing battle against
liver cancer. The sudden deterioration of Roger’s health shocked all his friends, including me as I had bumped into him a couple of months earlier
when Frank and I went to the Eastern Promise for dinner one Sat. evening and there he was, large as life, with his usual wide and welcoming smile
when he saw us. We had become close friends while working on several HG committees and for years he had the unenviable task of putting together
the large team of Stewards required to handle the myriad of jobs which came up during the day of the Games. An excellent job he did too! Like many
of his friends I will miss meeting him in his favourite watering hole.
May he rest in peace.
Bangers ‘n’ Mash
I am sure there are many of you, like me, who fancy a big fry up on a Sun. morning, just like you used to have back home. But without having to cook
it! Well now you can. Bangers ‘n’ Mash is a new restaurant opened on Kemang Raya by a fellow Scot Bob Nowak, who for the past year or so has
been providing his customers from his house with a range of pies, lorne sausages, beef/pork links, bacon, pork pies, you name it, Bob makes it! Now
he’s branched out and you can visit his cozy restaurant any day except Monday and watch his girls make you whatever you fancy for breakfast,
lunch or dinner. You must also try their fish and chips, absolutely delicious! I could go on and on about Bob’s menu, but I will just give you the web
link and you can see for yourself what you his new venture has to offer. Believe me, the quality of the meals are well worth a visit and very
reasonably priced. Here’s the link:
www.bangersnmashkemang.com
New Chieftain
Well the AGM of the Society was finally held on 1st April and our new Chieftain is Shona Benton. I am sure you would like to join me in congratulating
Shona on her election to this very important position and to wish her every success during her tenure of office.
Chuckle Corner
It would be remiss of me if I concluded this article without giving you the benefit of at least one of the stories I have plagiarized from my regular
contacts. Here’s one that ticked my fancy.
The things children think and say
1. HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like
sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the
chips and dip coming.
Alan, age 10
No person really decides before they grow up whom they're going to marry.
God decides it all way before and you get to find out later who you're
stuck with.
Kristen, age 10
2. WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
Camille, age 10
3. HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the
same kids.
Derrick, age 8
4. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
Lori, age 8
5. WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each
other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)
On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets
them interested enough to go for a second date.
Martin, age 10
6. WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich.
Pam, age 7 (love her)
The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
Curt, age 7
The rule goes like this:
If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them.
It's the right thing to do.
Howard, age 8
7. IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to
clean up after them.
Anita, age 9 (bless you child)
8. HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
Kelvin, age 8
And the #1 Favourite is.......
9. HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck.
Ricky, age 10
Goodbye readers an’ awraa best
Bernie
April 2011
