Cookin's no hard right? I mean It's really awe aboot being in the richt state o' mind. Gittin in the richt state o' mind is
easy as well. Ye jist need aboot  5 belts o' the good stuff and six or seven carlies....sortit.
Ye'r noo in the richt state of mind!
Right we've all made concrete and maybe mixed up some wallpaper paste or baby food after the nagging became unbearable and no
obvious escape presented itself. Most of us already have the 'F' word off by heart so no problem with semantics. The so called art of cooking
still scares many people and so in this short series of recipes we will do our own little part and endeavour to dispel the myths that cooking
stuff is any more difficult than mixing cement or that you need to be trained to cook. Please send in your comments and favourite recipes and
the Man Fae Dalwhinnie, which of course is secret code for very well known celebrity chef! He will try them out in the test kitchen and pass on
his findings and recommendations to us culinary mortals.
Recipe -1 is a Whisky and Chocolate Crunch
This dish will delight the palette with a subtle fusion of delicate bouquets and flavours and, what's more, it looks as good as it
tastes
    Cooking…                    
    Utensils :                       
    Pots :                             
    Casseroles:                  
    Scales:                            
    Measuring cup :           
    Whisk :                          
    Bowl:                              
    Oven :                             
    Microwave oven:           
    Egg Whites:                   
    Yolks:                            
    Flour:  
                                

    Washin up:                     
    Ingredients:
    Food Processor:                   



To start with we will look at a rather attractive desert  which will wow your
dinner guests and impress them with its subbtle flavours and rich bouquet.
    This is dead easy and fit's mair ye can hae a few while yer prepairing it tho abody'l be dead
    impressed by yer cookin skills. Nae bother !
For this recipe you will require the following ingredients to hand
    Tae mak this pudding ye'll need a load o' stuff like eggs an thick milk an choklit an choklit biskits an
    sugar. If ye canna find ony scales.. nae bother jist estimate the ingredients. As lang as ye pit enough
    whisky in ye'll be fine.

    Ingredients:
    6 oz chocolate digestive biscuits
    1 pint whipped cream
    3 tablespoons whisky (vary to suit your taste)
    Naw that’s no enough yer gonna need aboot twa times this much
    1 oz caster sugar (granulated sugar)
    2 egg whites
    2 drops vanilla essence (extract)
    1 oz toasted split almonds
    salted peanuts is fine
    Grated chocolate for decoration

Method
    How ye dae it.

Finely crush the chocolate digestive biscuits and spread equally in the bottom of six sundae dishes.
    Smash the living crap oot o' the biscuits. Pit them a in auld  plastic bag an bash them wi'  a hawf brick ora hammer. Smash them up
    intae teeny wee crums and pile awe this intae the bottom o' a fancy gless. Whit is a sundae gless ?

Whip together the cream, whisky, sugar and vanilla until stiff.
    Hae a dram. Next whack the cream, sugar, whisky and vanilla essence intae a bowl or pot. Dinnae use the dog's bowl coz he disnae
    like vanilla essence. Whip awe this up thegither and add loads o whisky. Whippin is whar ye use thon whisker thing or ye can aye
    use a fork or a screwdriver if ye dinnae ken whar that’s kept. Keep on whiskin the stuff till it looks like wishy-washy shaving cream.
    Hae a dram.

Separately, whip the egg whites until they are also stiff and then fold into the cream mixture.
    Noo tak twa eggs and get rid o' the yellow bit an the shell . If in doubt get the maid tae dae this while you hae anither dram...sortid.
    OK Egg whites whisked till they look like wishy-washy shaving cream as well and then ye need tae fold them in tae awe the other stuff
    ye mixed afore. Folding is whar ye gently wheek the stuff thegither but no like cement mixing coz ye want tae keep awe the bubbles
    in it an keep it frothy like.

Spoon equal quantities into the dishes over the biscuits. Chill and finally decorate with the toasted almonds and grated
chocolate.

    Hae another dram. Slap the stuff intae the fancy glesses wi the biscuit crumbs in and pit it in the fridge tae chill. While it's chillin you
    chill anawe and hae another dram.  Eftir a while or so, tak it oot the fridge and grate some choklit ower the tap and throw in a handfu
    o' almonds but if ye dinnae want nuts... nae bother... add some mair whisky instead there ya go Bob's yer uncle.

    See telt ye it was simps.             Next time : Tablet yaisin the heater upper gizmo ana pot !   
Nae botherl
Tools
Roon things wi hanles
Roon things wi nae hanles
Not required.
Not required.
Tool wi curly bits o' metal fir mixin stuff.
Like a pot but made fae gless or plestic.
Big heater-upper in the kitchen.
As above but much better fir quick food and drying yer socks.
The white bit o' the egg.
The other bit.
Naw, no a floo'er. White stuff, normally kept in the cupboard.
Naw no that white stuff ya tube. The McDougal's white stuff in
the poke!
No required til ye run oot o' dishes.
Stuff ye cook.
Far to complicated.  Leave it in the cupboard wi' awe its bits
THE MAN FAE DALWHINNIE    Says...?
So we'll begin